Am I a guilty Mum? A simple question that I kept asking myself with…..
After I’ve given birth to my kids, I always returned to work after 9 months of maternity leave. I envied those stay at home mums who doesn’t worry of going back to work and leave their precious little bundles of joy to someone else. I am wholeheartedly unhappy with it. I would have loved to resign and be a stay at home mum myself, however, it’s best for me to work financially at the moment. Am I a guilty mum?
In the mornings as I wake both my kids up so they can prepare themselves before we will all go out. I always feel horrible every time I see them still feeling tired and wanting to stay in bed a bit longer. Don’t get me wrong, I did request a change of shift at work but it has been almost a year now and I’m still waiting for it to be approved. Meanwhile, my conscience keeps bugging me that I work too early in the morning. Am I a guilty mum?
Our daily routine includes dropping off my kids to their childminder before me and my husband head for work. I have to say, I’m glad we have a very lovely and friendly childminder. Although at the back of my mind, I envy her a lot for having this chance to look after my own kids while I was away. She feeds them, play with them, drop Reimer to school and even give Ruby cuddles until she naps in the afternoon. All these things I would love to do everyday but I’m not there with them. I know it’s ridiculously insane that I feel this way because working is not my choice, it’s a decision I’m forced to take. Am I a guilty Mum?
When I collect Ruby from childminder’s house, I always have mixed emotions. Reason being is, I’ve always wanted her to get excited when she sees me on the door, but it doesn’t always happen that way. She sometimes just woke up from a nap and even goes up to her childminder and give her a hug instead. I must admit, it’s heartbreaking and I blame myself for that. That she have bonded well with another person rather than myself. Although on a hindsight, it means she have done her job well that my kids love her that much. Am I a guilty mum?
When everyone is finally home for the day, it’s either I’m busy preparing dinner or catching up on chores. On the side, I also help Reimer on his homework but left Ruby doing something else on her own. I can’t even spend time with them until bed time comes, when they’ll have bath, story and bed. I lie down every night in bed reflecting of the things I have done with them for the day. It’s terrible to say, I’ve only done the minimum. Am I a guilty mum?
I stumbled across this quote which I tried to tell my guilty self with and hoping it would lift my spirit and will make me feel a little bit better.
At the end of the day, I am doing what I’m doing because it’s all for them no matter how hard, frustrating and challenging being a mum can bring.
Are you a guilty Mum?
Have you been guilty sometimes for not giving enough time and attention to your kids?
This post is linked up with: