Why I choose Family first, work next

Family first, work next…  I understand that not everyone completely agree to this one which I assumed comes down to every individual’s priorities.   Others differ and believe the other way around instead.  Finding the right balance varies according to your personal circumstance, whether you’re single, married, have kids, newly graduated, starting a new job, or even  when you’re nearing retirement.

In an ideal world, everyone dreams of having a healthy and well-balanced work and life situation where one is bound to be ultimately happy and reasonably contented.  It’s unfortunate though that none of us got the manual to perfect the work-life balance concept.   I don’t even know if it’s possible to achieve.  Where exactly are we going to stand?  It’s confusing and rather worrying to a some extent as it’s affecting our lives as a whole. Am I right to say that life is simply complicated?

Don’t get me wrong, I love to go to work.  Working has been an important part of my life since I graduated in University back home.  I love that working brings the feeling of self-fulfillment in me.  It also gives me that sense of independence that I don’t have to rely from anybody financially because I’m earning one, I can provide for myself and I’m proud of it.

Nonetheless, since having my own family and having kids, my desire for work had shifted gradually.  Now I’m more drawn to stay at home and spend more time with my kids rather than go to work.  Is it too obvious to say that my family is my prime concern at the moment?

I stumbled upon this quote which I’m just going to share as it resonates with my current situation…

Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a LIFE.

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My lovely succulent collection in my kitchen window sill.

I work almost full time Monday to Fridays with weekends off.   Hence, our weekday routine is ridiculously crazy and absurdly demanding from early hours of the morning til bedtime.  It’s too hectic that I end up being overly stressed and burnt out at the end of the day.   Not to mention the childcare cost that comes along with it as well, which means it’s barely worthwhile for me working.

I must admit I rant over this all the time because I’m upset about how life can be such a never-ending struggle.  In fact, I have a post asking myself if Am I a guilty Mum?  because I’m constantly baffled as to what’s the best thing to do that suits us all constructively.   The entire situation is rotten and unfair for them especially for my kids.

Last week, I received a good news… I called myself lucky!  I was offered a change of shift among numerous applicants.  It’s a reduced hours though and yet it works out perfectly with my family routine which is the main thing.  The only downside of it though is less money, but money is not everything.  Money can’t even buy happiness, so they say.

 

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 Actually, I officially started working in this new shift pattern this week.  The advantages of the new shift weighs way over the disadvantage.  To me, this is an ideal work shift that would eventually resolve my current dilemma.  At the moment, this is how I balance and justify work and life…

Why I choose family first, work next…

  • I have to say, my first week had made so much difference in my entire well-being.  I feel more lively, cheerful and high spirited.
  • I can now take the pleasure of walking with Reimer off to school before I head off to work.
  • I don’t have to drag them out of bed early morning and they can consequently enjoy a longer sleep that their body requires.
  • My kids can now have breakfast at home and can have a rather healthier meal.
  • I am more relaxed and less exhausted as I’m not anymore working long hours.  It simply made me happier, thus, giving good mood at home.
  • I can save a bit on childcare cost as I don’t need one for him apart from Fridays where he’s only half day at school.
  • I don’t have to worry of going to work knackered the next day if I stay up late at night.
  • I have more time with my kids now as I’m not as preoccupied catching up on chores when I get home from work.
  • I have more time with blogging as well, my favorite pastime.  Another passion of mine where I can express myself and thoughts through writing.
  • Additionally, I can now communicate with my family back home more frequently as I have more free time over the weekdays.
  • Most importantly, it has made a lot of positive changes in our family and has improved our quality of life dramatically.

 How do you balance work and life situation?

Do you also agree in family first, work next decision?

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50 thoughts on “Why I choose Family first, work next

  • This is so true, so important to realise. I am so lucky to work from home most of the time, and I never take it for granted. Life must have a balance. #mg

    • ReimerandRuby

      I think you’re lucky working from home as it’s easier to balance life and work. Hope I can do the same. Thank you!

  • I have to say that money does not come first in our household and there are times when we argue about it which can cause tension. However, the main thing is that our children have time with their parents and we get to see them growing up which is what life is about x

    • ReimerandRuby

      I totally agree with you, seeing our kids grow and making the most of the moments with them should be a priority. Thank you.

  • I am so glad you have found a better balance. We have always chosen family over work and it has meant some big sacrifices, but it meant my husband could work from home for the past 6 years and be very involved with the children. But now things have changed and we see him a lot less, it’s been hard, we are adjusting and trying to make the most of the time he has with us #mg

    • ReimerandRuby

      Sometimes we can’t just get what we all want, isn’t it? Sacrifices big or small is sometimes a must for the welfare of everyone. I bet he would love to be with the kids too. Thank you.

  • Oh I really hope you enjoy getting the work/life balance back. It’s so hard isn’t it? Thanks for linking! #bigpinklink

    • ReimerandRuby

      It’s hard, yes. But I’m glad I’ve got the shift that I wanted, it’s a lot better and work better with our routine. Thank you.

  • It’s all a balancing act isn’t it. I like to be comfortable, but money isn’t the be all. Our kids are little for such a short time that I don’t want them to grow up and only ever remember us working and being too busy to spend time with them. It looks like you’ve got a good compromise. I’m going to look to reduce my hours after I return from maternity leave. #bestandworst

    • ReimerandRuby

      So true, we don’t want our kids to remember us having no time for them. They won’t remain little for long, so we need to make the most of it, and spend as much time with them while we can. Thank you.

  • I agree with everything you say. I have a college education and a professional position but since my daughter was born almost 3 years ago, my perspective has changedone. I’m considering becoming a SAHM next year as we’re planning on expanding our family
    I’m terrified of the reduced income but hoping to find some work from home opportunities. I want to be there for my kids when they’re sick, to being the to school and pick them up, to be there to help with their homework. There’s a million reasons to out my family first. #mg

    • ReimerandRuby

      I would love to be SAHM, but at the moment, we’re financially better off with me working still even at reduced hours. I always want to be with them most of the time while they’re growing. Good luck with your plans! Thank you.

  • Thanks for linking up with #tuesdaytreasures

  • It is really hard to find the right balance. I used to work, more so because I enjoyed it, but in the end as our girls grew it became such a struggle ad juggle and I was so exhausted all the time, it just wasn’t working out for anyone, and I lost the pride I used to take in my job. When we discussed it, the husband and I came to the conclusion that me not working would be better for us all, and as my husband could take the extra financial pressure without too much added stress for him, I gave up work. We are so much happier, all 4 of us because of it. What we have done won’t work for everyone, and everyone will have their own individual ways of finding their balance, it just works for us, and thats all anyone can do. Find something that works….. good post! Its not easy and sometimes you just have to put it all out there and see what answers you get back. #mg

    • ReimerandRuby

      So true, everyone has different ways to find balance… I’m glad you find happiness in your decision. Money is not everything. At the moment, reducing hours is my compromise, but we’ll see how it goes in the future. Thanks for your lovely comment!

  • I agree with all of this, absolutely! It is SO important that you get the balance right and remember that the children are only young for such a short time. I am a stay at home mum and for me I didn’t give it a second thought, I just knew that I wanted to be at home with them while they were young. I appreciate others cannot afford that luxury and my husband, who works full time, envies me the time with the children. We always make sure that weekends are work-free though, that is OUR time and work, or blogging, doesn’t impose on it! #brilliantblogposts

    • ReimerandRuby

      Totally agree, kids only remain young for a short time, we’ve got to enjoy the moments while we can. I would have loved to be a stay at home mum but at the moment, we’re a bit better off me working, but see how it goes in the future. Thanks for your lovely comment.

  • So glad you have a better balance now. I am also a working mum and now that feeling of total exhaustion and missing the kids all too well. Hope it works well x #coolmumclub

    • ReimerandRuby

      I’m glad I have reduced hours at work, I’m not as exhausted and stressed, I’m more happier now that I have more time at home with the kids compared to before. Hope you’ll find the better balance too. Thank you.

  • I love how you’ve written this and appreciate that not everyone feels the same. I definitely would put family first too and love your list of why it suits you better – so pleased that you have an offer that has helped with that all important work/life balance – really hope it works out well for you #coolmumclub

    • ReimerandRuby

      Thank you.. and yes, the reduced hours suits perfectly now with our routine without me being too burnt out at the end of the day. Thank you.

  • I’m with you on this. My mindset has sifted enormously since my son was born. Family and his childhood comes first where possible. I go back to work Sept with a bit of flex and I reduced hours but I know in my heart it’ll still be hard to drop him off at nursery for those few days #coolmumclub

    • ReimerandRuby

      Hope you’ll find having flex and reduced hours at work better for you. Family and kids comes first definitely. Thank you.

  • Fab post and I totally agree. I think if you can hit that perfect balance then it makes for a much happier mum and it’s fab that you got the opportunity to do so. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely! xx

    • ReimerandRuby

      So true, now that I feel happier with our new family work situation, I realize I already find the right balance. Thank you.

  • I love this and agree with your points, I find that the work-life balance is hard sometimes and how wonderful that you have a work offer to allow that balance for you. Before having a baby, I was so career driven but now we’re here, family time comes first. #bigpinklink

    • ReimerandRuby

      As soon as we have family and kids, our priorities change, isn’t it? as long as we find the right balance, our life would still be happier as it should be. Thank you.

  • Hi Cheryl, when I had our son, we had a bar in one of the resorts here. It was only small, but was time consuming as we kept it open eighteen hours or more a day. Between us we decided that things had to change when we had a family, so I stopped work and we only opened the bar from late afternoon.

    We sold the bar after nine years as family life and running a bar don’t mix that well. I have worked on and off since then, but it’s not easy as my son has autism and I don’t like leaving him for any length of time.

    It sounds as if your new work hours gives you a better work/ family balance, which will make all the difference. The money maybe less, but you can never get your children’s childhood back.

    xx

    • ReimerandRuby

      Finding the right family work balance can be confusing, isn’t it? But I’m glad to know you eventually found one that suits your family circumstance perfectly. So true, we can never get back our kids childhood, so we need to enjoy the moments with them while we can. Thank you.

  • What a blessing – it sounds like the reduction in hours has really helped you and your family. I so agree. i work 3 days. It is harder to commit as much at work but I love time at home with my daughter and just working less! You have to put life first. Great post and pleased for you. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

    • ReimerandRuby

      Absolutely a great blessing! I think working less works perfectly well with us mums as we still can enjoy being with our kids at home. Thank you for your lovely comment.

  • Its a tricky one isnt it. Im working full time at the moment, partly out of choice, mostly out of financial necessity. It goes without saying that my family come first, but unfortunatley life isnt always so straightforward. sounds like you have a option now which works for you and that great! #kcacols

    • ReimerandRuby

      I know how we deal with things and family work balance relies on our circumstance. Yes, it’s tricky situation and not straightforward. I would love to be SAHM but at the moment, we’re still better off with me working so reducing hours is a great compromise. Thank you.

  • You sound so relaxed and happy with your choice – some people never achieve this in a lifetime. Wishing you many more happy family times to come. #KCACOLS

  • I agree to an extent, but if you have to work to keep food on the table and a roof over your heads work is important to some. I wish I didn’t have to go back to work full time after my maternity leave finishes but to provide for baby girls future I must for the time being. Unless of course we win the lottery! xx

    #KCACOLS

    • ReimerandRuby

      I know it can be a difficult situation, I’m lucky my hubby works full time, mine is just an extra support, but still better off with me working that’s why I’m still keeping my job though reduced hours. How I wish we win lottery too, lol. Thank you.

  • That’s brilliant news Cheryl! You sound so happy and almost relieved to be able to make so many changes to your life, through one small change. Yes, it’s less money, but if you can afford to take less, then I would also make the same decision. You sound so relaxed and I’m sure it’ll do the whole family good to have you walking them to school and eating more together.

    Thanks so much for sharing on #TheBabyFormula, hope you can link up again this week xx

    • ReimerandRuby

      You’re right, I feel more relaxed now with this new shift. At the moment, it’s the welfare of the family that matters to me the most. Thank you.

  • I love this so much and I agree, family first, I left my last job because of how, well, rubbish they were about the fact that I had a daughter and she was my main priority, not their workload. Much happier now I work for myself! #kcacols

    • ReimerandRuby

      Lucky you for working from home now… How I wish I can do the same, it would make a difference with family. Thank you.

  • Ah what a brilliant change, that is amazing! Well done for taking the step, it sound like a great decision x #KCACOLS

    • ReimerandRuby

      It definitely is a great decision and I have no regrets about it, made me even happier. Thank you.

  • I chose to go back to work 3 days a week and I find it an okay balance. I’m not sure when we have our 2nd child if it will be worth it though, childcare is so expensive!! I’m glad your new hours suit you and your family better – enjoy! #KCACOLS

    • ReimerandRuby

      We have the same problem as we only rely on childminder for childcare, it’s very expensive that I barely work for nothing, I know this is temporary, once the kids are both in Primary, I’ll be better off financially… Hope you can find the right balance when you have the 2nd child too.

  • I completely understand what you mean. I also chose to not go back to work and stay at home with my girls. Things have now turned around in a way that I can use my hobby as something that brings a income home which fantastic. I can now choose my times and be around more. I can see you are happy with your decision and that is the most important thing. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. It is lovely to have you, 🙂 xx

    • ReimerandRuby

      How I wish I can be SAHM so I can be around more with my kids. Lucky you that your hobby is bringing income home, I’m jealous. Thank you.

  • I totally agree with you, these precious times won’t come around again but we all do what we have to do so there has to be a compromise. I have been both sides, away working half the week and now SAHM but trying to write/blog while at home, even the latter can take over family life,I have to remind myself to look around and life is what is in front of your eyes and you blink and you miss it! Great post! Found you via #mg XX

    • ReimerandRuby

      I totally agree with you that life is what’s in front of us and when we blink, we miss it… that’s why we should take advantage of it now, like spending time with our kids more than anything else. Thank you for popping by.

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